Today is Britney Spears’ birthday….I’ve been hearing stories about fans having their own parties for her.

Seriously?

You know I haven’t been able to buy shampoo for 2 months because I’m poor right?…but yeah, Britney does deserve an ice cream cake.

Here’s Brit on Good Morning America today.

Dino

 honey. Oh, not much. You will not BELIEVE the night I had. Crazy. Listen, will you call an underground doctor and a criminal defense attorney? Oh, no reason.”

The biggest story over the weekend was obviously the plight of Giants star wideout Plaxico Burress.  Burress’s season has included a lengthy holdout, a two-week suspension, fines, dwindling production, and a hamstring injury, and it finally imploded late Friday night when he accidentally shot himself in the leg with an unregistered handgun at a Manhattan night club.

Burress went out to Latin Quarter with teammates Antonio Pierce and Ahmad Bradshaw.  He told security that he was carrying a gun for protection because he was carrying lots of cash and wearing expensive jewelry.  While “carrying a glass of wine,” the New York Daily News reported, “he began fumbling with his gun, police sources said. The weapon went off, firing a single bullet that tore through Burress’ right thigh.” 

Dino

…against my will.

 As long as it doesn’t have Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson, it might not be that bad.

The trailer for “He’s Just Not That Into You”, based on the book.

Dino

Leave it to the King of Darkness to make me want to switch my cell phone service…do I get a cool gargoyle head chain if I do?

Dino

Do you say hi to your mother for me with those hands? Shameful.

Dino

Remember me, Justin Guarini, the man who lost the first ever American Idol to Kelly Clarkson? Well you better remember. I know where your family lives. Would be a shame if something were to happen to them. You read me buddy? You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down? Haha, Happy Thanksgiving, I’m just pullin’ your chain. Or am I?

Dino

I don’t want you to think that just because it’s the afternoon on the day before Thanksgiving and no one is reading the internet, that I would even THINK of scrimping on the quality of my blog. I take immense pride in my job and hold myself to a high standard of consistent excellence — that’s why I’ve taken literally minutes out of my day to painstakingly craft the following Thanksgiving wishes for all of my loyal, beloved readers:

Dino

This may be the most horrifying thing that will ever happen to TAYLOR SWIFT.  She was doing a photo shoot in New York City’s Central Park when a class of third-graders mistakenly thought she was PARIS HILTON.

In their defense, they are third-graders….and Taylor is a classy girl. She probably laughed it off.

I wouldn’t be so nice…one time someone mistook me for Rob Schneider….I threw a brick through their windshield.  Here’s a side by side of Rob and I.

(Rob’s the one on the left…)

Dino

CARSON DALY will become a dad this spring.  His girlfriend, Siri Pinter, is pregnant with his first child.  Carson’s rep says, quote, “Carson is thrilled to be a father and they are looking forward to an extra special Thanksgiving this year with family and friends.”

It’s also rumored that Carson will hunt down and kill anyone who tells his child what he used to do at 3pm on MTV.

Dino

Apparently bill collectors don’t have a sense of humor…

Dino